aside from the random weight gain freshman year (i was introduced to bars and not having to work out 15 hours a week for cheerleading) and the weight gain while abroad in spain (i was eating 4-5 full meals a day and drinking my weight in beer while not working out), i have always been relatively the same weight. sure there was the jump from being a competitive cheerleader working out 15 hours a week and being in high school to being in college and a bit more sedentary. but the difference was 5 pounds. however, every time that one of these increases happened, it had been so easy to do something about. i just increased the amount i worked out.
i had noticed about a year ago that i was about 5-7 pounds heavier than i liked being. i chalked it up to the fact that i couldn't work out because my deviated septum pretty much prevented me from breathing. so, i started working out again.
then, i am not really certain why i didn't notice a difference, but all of the sudden, i weighed myself and i was about 10-15 pounds heavier than i liked being. now, there are many things that i could blame this on. i took a new job in december of 2009 that requires me to travel fairly extensively in the spring/summer. from this switch i have completely adjusted my lifestyle too. i am sitting literally all day whereas before, i was running around like a crazy person, trying to finish the 100 things that i had on my list for the day. but, the bottom line was that i was not working out as much as i should, i was eating much worse than i should be to maintain a healthy weight and lastly, i was no longer 23.
i wish that i had never learned to love food. when i was younger, my mom always said that my approach to food was much like my father's. i ate because i had to, not because i really loved it. don't get me wrong. my mother was a fantastic chef. she really liked cooking gourmet food. but, i never really enjoyed eating it. i didn't appreciate all of the wonderful things that were out there.
it was probably about the time of college that i really started to enjoy food. i began working in restaurants and getting to sample all of these wonderful creations. and i started experimenting on my own. i would try to replicate dishes that were made in various restaurants, while adding my own touches to make them unique and different. and then the schuldt family happened to me. part of my nannying job with them was to make dinner for the family every night. they provided enough food that i could take home dinner too. these were not simple recipes folks. but, they were all from cooking light or weight watchers. wish i still had that recipe book.
i will admit that i am lazy when it comes to cooking. i love making these huge meals for lots of people to enjoy and having dining being an experience. unfortunately, that doesn't always work so well for a busy girl in nyc. often times, i will be getting home at 8 or 9 and at that point, i pretty much just grab something on the go and call it a night.
so, here we are today. i have about 8-10 lbs to lose. my friends tell me that i look good, but i am still not happy. things just don't fit like they used to and to me, that is unacceptable. i have adjusted my expectations to what i think is realistic for my age/height/body type. i don't know about you, but i find it really frustrating that i don't know what i am trying to hit weight wise. i don't know what is realistic. i just have this picture in my head. so, i am working towards that.
i am now one week in on my journey. not certain how much weight i have lost, but i am feeling better about the way things are looking.
Here's how I think I am going to achieve this:
- journaling everything i eat (well, i didn't keep very accurate records this weekend)
- cutting out alcohol except for one night a week of moderate to heavy drinking and if the opportunity for one other night presents itself, I will only have 1-2 drinks
- working out like a banchee - in all seriousness, i am doing bootcamp for 90 mins, two - three times a week, running/elliptical for 45+ mins at least 3-4 times a week
- somehow learning to accept my body along the way and not be so hard on myself
